I thought of saving money so I decided to shop online boutique because online tops or blouses are wayyy cheaper than the ones in the shopping complex.

A nice top or a beautiful blouse costs less than a hundred or even less than RM50 online, that is if you find the right online boutiques.

This year I was soo determined not to buy any handbags because I have a few of them which are still in good shape.

Since I was into cheap but beautiful blouses and tops hunting, I browsed all the  online boutiques listed here

I have a weak spot for handbags so I tried so XTRA hard to avoid Bags section.

BUT the names like: Bags Wonderland, Bag-A-Holics, Bags with Love (in pink colors) listed under the bags section really caught my attention.

My heart MELT, WEAK at my knees, I was HEX-ed, bag-spelled. I GAVE IN and surrendered. I clicked bag here and bag there, oohh and ahhh inside, email here and there, asked here and there AND the rest is history.

Within 2 days, I got the new handbag. DANG!

I love the new bag and I have no regrets but I feel very very guilty to spend so much money for a handbag when there are still others out there who aren’t well-fed. SIGHHHH!

If there is a rehab for a bag-spender, I’ll sure enroll to kick this bad habit off my system.

FRUSTRATED but NO REGRET but GUILTY but HAPPY with the new bag. What the..??? I am complex. hish! annoying!

is a mild-downsyndrome patient (you couldn’t tell he is DS patient ’cause he looks normal)

is placed in a special-care class at his school

has no loving-caring dad as he is a victim of broken marriage

his only big brother stays with foster family miles away from his home.

he stays only with his mom and has no other close relatives.

is not rich at all

generous neighbours help the mother to pay rent, provide food stocks, giving away used clothes  etc ’cause his mother couldn’t afford all that

there is another problem: his mom is not well and needs regular visits to hospital

some nights like tonite his mom has to stay overnight at hospital

and that means he has to stay alone in the house ’cause the mother has no other relatives to take care of him, couldn’t afford to pay for babysitter or place him under nursery care.

tonite he is lucky because my mother (one of the good neighbors) volunteered to babysit him.

he got to stay and sleep at my mom’s place tonite and tomorrow he will be chaffaured to school also by my mom.

he keeps calling his mom today.. must be missing his mom a lot.

he cries sometime tonite… because he is still missing his mom.

he is just a kid. i wholeheartedly pity this kid. what about other days or nites? when the mother cannot be there to take care of him.. (

This is just another complex me trying to be in someone else’s shoes again. This time is his shoes.

I learnt something though: if u think u r soo unfortunate, there are many people (especially kids) out there who are less fortunate than us. So. Always be glad and thankful of what you have now. And. Never stop striving for a better you.

I read Matt’s blog for the first time.

While reading I imagined myself in his shoes and everytime I came upon below lines or anything similar to that I choked.

I miss her mom terribly..
I miss Madeline’s mom…

Last archive read was June 2008 until 200 am and I couldn’t sleep after that.

I am not sure what time I fell asleep but this morning I woke up with a throbbing headache at the back of my head which means I didn’t get my usual sleeping beauty.

And I couldn’t get off liz face out of my head. And I know the reason why: I love to see liz photos in the blog so much because she is pretty and photogenic. The haunted smile.

I felt deeply touched and sad when I read each entry and this is not good for me.I have to stop visiting Matt’s for a while.

I don’t want what happened to me last 12 years repeats itself again.

Short history of the last 12 years:
After watching Lord of the Flies movie, I had mild insomnia for a year because of some horrifying scenes on it.

Yes! I have a complex mind because I think and imagine hard and a lot.
Sad and hantu things do make me restless.

I wish to think of cartoons, butterflies and rainbows all the time.(yes, selfish me!)

I need my bed SO BAD!! and a bar of chocolate to boost my glucose level for my exhaustive brain

more sad story:

http://www.nst.com.my/Current_News/NST/Wednesday/National/2482737/Article/index_html

This youtube is sooo touching: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJMbk9dtpdY

I had to hold back my tears as I watched this in the office  (opps!hehehe) kalau bukan dekat office dah flowing2 dah airmataku. *tsk*